Living - and already savoring - the Adventures across the backroads of western Idaho and eastern Oregon!

10 May 2011

The Color of the Beast is … Yellow

“Days drift slowly on the page.” That song quote is more suited to the Mississippi river delta, not the bustling suburbs of DC. But it works for me. We’re in our slow season, one when we can do deeper dives into our customers’ portfolios. In plainer English, that means I get to ask questions and help them write performance measures that make sense to Joe Public ("we spent $x on something to achieve x result").

Not exotic work and actually not hard – if you need a career in performance measurement, ring me! Hey, at least I get to have a slow season; this aspect of my career definitey is a selling point. Take farming: cows don’t take a day off, unless they’re the main course.

So, you want to understand the subject line? ‘Traffic Light Yellow’ is the color of choice to many of our commuter bus drivers. It’s the color of personal challenge or a slapped affront. When that traffic light goes yellow, the drivers’ mettle is tested. Nostrils flare, spittle flies, pupils flame open and pedal to the metal! To heck with the windows – they’re really plexiglass anyway, easily replaceable. Passengers – heck, more innocents will get on after this sorry lot staggers along their way.

Some drivers are like jackals, stalking the lines of traffic while spying for an opening to pounce into. Some are just mental cases, obliviously plowing their way into an imaginary gap because, well, they’re bigger than you. A couple of our drivers are extreme opposites – they simply get into the flow and we all go comastose during our long commute (my preference). My absolute highest citation for Stupidity in the Face of Reason goes to those drivers who dare to go where no bus ought’a go – daredevil-ishlly careening down back roads.

Stopping is out of the question, which perhaps is why newer buses have seat belts and on-demand air masks. You think I’m exaggerating? Then where do all those scrapes and car parts hanging off the bus fenders come from?! Bring on Smoky & The Bandit - I'm rarin' to go!