6 major appliances live in our house, as I imagine just like yours.
Washer gives up its life, after 16 noble years and just one repair. Neptune Magic! A simple day’s jaunt costs us only $900 for a coolio Maytag that sanitizes stuff. Gotta love the various discounts strewn at our feet!
3 weeks later, the oven goes whacker doodles and pizzas don’t cook right. Well, we can roll with those changes with an oven thermometer and by re-calibrating the temperature, right?
Bam! Saturday the refrigerator just dies. What?! At five years of age? Are you hosing me? Don’t you feel the love of my bi-monthly cleanings? What do you want, a buffing of your stainless steel ego? Here’s $134 greenbacks to light up your life and cool my eats. Happy?!
The nuker, dryer and dishwasher now watch, in an eerily explosive Crimean peninsular way. What will happen next door? Is it our turn to bolt? Will our secession be violent, or will it be like Scotland, who keeps Sean Connery in perpetuity (but has no decent football club)? Does The Master mean to get rid of us too?
Damn straight. Have daughter. With hands. Let’s go old school and get out that dish rag, Social Services’ human rights complaint be damned … “Soap on, soap off. Rinse and repeat…”