Blog Wars

From: JOSER //D5/1962/12
To: JOE PUBLIC //11/AL//
Info: ARKANSAWYER //Y4/1970//11/
Info: TMM BLOG READERS //39//
060610ZJAN11

U N C O N F I D E N T I A L //NO239//

SUBJ OPCON (Operational Condition) Blog Escalation and Smack-down {U}

RMKS/1 {U} Arkansawyer has left blogosphere. Estimated disappearance 10SEP10, 1225Z, approx. 122 calendar days without a post. Suspect likely hiding under an unknown pseudonym in Armadillo Creek. Previous alias include Hunky, Super Stud, Romeo and Huggy Bear.

2. {U} The mission: Draw Arkansawyer back into the fray. Obtain new blog posts. Use of deadly force IS NOT, we say again, NOT, authorized. Public chastisement however IS both authorized AND encouraged. Use ‘Implant Blue J on the Chest’ operational procedure. THREATCON BEWARE SNOWJOB is in effect for creek crossing and reading his stories. Wear boots.

3. {U} The variables:
A. Johnny: lives in Armadillo Creek. Known to eavesdrop on telephonic party lines. Treat as hostile local inhabitant who will hide Arkansawyer identity.

B. Mrs. Arkansawyer: an imposing force of reason. Able to see through his designs and crush the revolt with a merely furled eyebrow.

C. Mrs. TMM: whirling dervish of insight and power. Able to stop all familial members in tracks with a simple clearing of throat.

D. Beanz: wild magic incarnate. AKA Carlos. With a wry comment, able to throw all reason out the window and cause wacky dreaming to commence.

E. Chris Elliott, the Cabin Boy: the muse, the inspiration. Develop attack strategy to lure Cabin Boy and you will snare Arkansawyer.

DECL/OADR//