Living - and already savoring - the Adventures across the backroads of western Idaho and eastern Oregon!

11 April 2008

Gotta Love the Metro

Here in DC, we have the cutest Metro persona. She coos over the loudspeaker to say things like,
"Please remember that the car doors will not reopen automatically if your purse or
arm gets caught in the door. To improve today's Metro experience, we recommend..."

Is it just me who wonders just how sub-standard your Metro experience would be if you had to depart the platform with only half your arm in a position that would likekly ensure it's not hacked off in the tunnel? I'm glad the lady's voice expressed no compassion nor remorse to cause undue concern about loss-of-limb... I must worry too much.

Sabrina remarked about how uncomfortable it is to have someone looking at you in the elevator's mirrored surface. Hmm, for starters I never get that (?) lucky, but if I did I imagine one of the reactions below would pin the stalker's intentions down. Assuming they're of the opposite gender:
  • Put out your tongue
  • Very discreetly and politely begin drooling
  • Give them your best Mr. Bean imitation
  • Look right at them and tell them it's about time they looked - you've been dying to go out for drinks with them
  • Give them a dead-pan stare right back ... then wink at them!

I imagine it would be different if they were same-gender, so I recommend:

  • Starting pounding your head on the wall
  • Lick the wall (OK, kind of gross but drastic measures may be needed)
  • Kicking up your heels a la Riverdance
  • Again, drooling is a time-honored classic ...

1 comment:

Arkansawyer said...

Hrmmm... Well, people don't stare at me too often, unless it's in fright. But I've had one or two people approach me online. The whole give it back to them seems to do the trick - but in an elevator, you're awfully close. You wink at them or ask them out to drinks, they're liable to take you up on it!

My answer? Very subtly - so that they don't think you realize they are watching, slowly stick your finger up your nose (just a tiny bit, not really touching anything, then pull it out and pretend to nibble).